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  May31

Countdown to Summer Vacation? Pshaw.

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So, I’m seeing all of these posts lately where parents are counting down the days to summer vacation, so excited to have a break from packing lunches, laying out clothes, checking homework, making breakfast etc. etc.  I would like to say that I fall into this category of parents who are still lovingly doing all of these things for their kids up until the very last day of school, but let’s be honest here.  I’m pretty sure I checked out of the school year long before the end.  Like, somewhere back in January.

I used to diligently check my daughter’s homework folder every single night, sit down at the table and go over her homework with her.  At this point, I don’t even know if she still has a homework folder.  Or homework.  The only reason I know she’s still going to school is because I drive her there myself.

Beginning of the year:
Daughter: Mom, I don’t understand how to do this.
Me: Well, let’s read through it together and figure it out.

End of the year:
Daughter: Mom, this homework is hard and I don’t understand it.
Me:  Google it.

Packing lunches?  Well, for the first few months, this is how the conversation went:
Daughter: Mom, I don’t like what’s for lunch tomorrow, can you pack my lunch?
Me: Sure!  I’ll do it tonight after you go to bed.

This is how the conversation went last week:
Daughter: Mom, I don’t like what’s for lunch tomorrow, can you pack my lunch?
Me: No
Daughter: But it’s gross food.  I don’t want to eat it.
Me: You’ll be fine.  Just eat the fruit or something.

At the beginning of the year, I carefully picked out their outfits each night and laid them out on their dressers.  Matching everything, including hair bows and or earrings for my daughter.  Now, she comes down the stairs looking like a homeless street urchin and I don’t care.  I DON’T CARE.  As long as she isn’t naked, that’s good enough for me.  Hair bows?  Pshaw!  I don’t even remember the last time I brushed her hair.  Does she still have hair?  Do we even own a brush?  I don’t know.  And I DON’T CARE.

On the first day of kindergarten, this is how my son went to school:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And this is how he went on his last day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, those are the clothes he went to sleep in.  And he took a Playstation controller with him.  I DON’T CARE.  I am not fighting with him.  He’s dressed, what more do you want from me???  I don’t even know if he put shoes on.  I’m assuming he did since I didn’t get a call from the school telling me my son showed up shoeless.  Whatev.

I used to get up twenty minutes before them so I could make them a nice, healthy, well-balanced meal.  Last week, my daughter ate Cheesy Pringles in the car on the way to school and I was happy because at least it’s some sort of cheese so she’s getting a little dairy and she’s not bitching about how hungry she is.    My son asked if he could have gum for breakfast and I gladly handed him the pack because he hadn’t brushed his teeth yet and we were running late so at least it killed two birds with one pack of gum, or whatever.

So, how many more days of school are left?  I don’t know.  Two, three, something like that.  I DON’T CARE.  I stopped caring after Christmas.  Really, the school year should just end at Christmas.  I think they’ve learned enough by then.

  May20

No. Sleep. TILL BROOKLYN! Or something like that…

23 Comments

So, what’s next for me you ask?  Wait, you didn’t ask?  Oh, sorry.  Well, I’m going to tell you anyway so shut it.

I am releasing my first New Adult book titled “Watch Over Me” on June 14th.  The pre-order for both ebook and paperback through Amazon should be up soon.  I’m very excited and feel kind of pukey about publishing this one so you better read it or I will straight up puke on you.

Aaaaaand, I’ve been waiting for what seems like ages to announce this when in reality it’s only been a few months.  But that’s like 10 bajillion years in author-time.  I have signed a 3-book deal with Amazon Publishing for a brand spankin’ new series called the Fool Me Once series.  It’s going to be a combination of my romantic suspense books and romantic comedy.  So you’ll get the twists and turns, some funny, and some hot sex all rolled into one.  Are you excited?!!  I’m excited!  I’m also freaking out.  This means I have to work on deadlines, people!  But this also means I’ll have someone else doing my promoting and marketing for those books and I’ll have more free time.  Ha ha ha ha ha yeah right!  Because not only do I need to write 3 books for that series this year, I also plan on writing the last 2 books in the Playing with Fire series and the 4th and final book in the Chocolate Lovers series.

Yep, you heard that right.  Six more books to write by the end of the year.  No biggie.  Who needs sleep?  Or food?  Not this girl!  I will function on crack and Red Bull!    Just kidding.  Red Bull is disgusting.

So there you have it.  I’m going to be a busy little beaver.  Or just a beaver.  Or if I continue forgetting to eat, just little.