Apr3

You Googled WHAT???

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You may think that the best thing I have ever done in my life might be marrying my husband, having my children or becoming an author. Under normal circumstances, you would probably be right. I’m pretty sure though, that we’re all quite clear on the fact I’m not normal.

The best thing I have ever done in my life is download a plugin for this website that shows me the words people (I use this term loosely) have typed into the Google search engine that brought them to my website.

Screen Shot 2014-04-02 at 11.36.41 PM

Amber Dente, if you’re out there, my apologies. Especially if you’re a nun or in someway related to Mother Theresa. This is probably not the site you’d like your loyal followers to come to for prayer and salvation.

Screen Shot 2014-04-02 at 11.36.56 PMI’m obviously going to the wrong restaurants. I don’t remember seeing this on the list of specials. And on a side note, MORE THAN ONE PERSON SEARCHED FOR THIS AND CAME TO MY WEBSITE.

Screen Shot 2014-04-02 at 11.37.17 PMI’m afraid to Google what “boole woot” means. This person means business. They don’t want Indian sex, they want Indian sex sex. In a boole woot. (On a boole woot? Near a boole woot?                                                                                                       Wearing a boole woot? WTF IS A BOOLE WOOT????)

Screen Shot 2014-04-02 at 11.37.25 PMThe age-old question of “Will there be porn in hell?” has finally been answered.

Screen Shot 2014-04-02 at 11.37.58 PMTonight on the menu we have a nice, chargrilled lovers special with a side of mashed potatoes.

Screen Shot 2014-04-02 at 11.38.13 PMMy new series, coming soon. Filled with pictures of dog shaming, author shaming and People of Walmart shaming.

Screen Shot 2014-04-02 at 11.38.20 PMOnce again, proper punctuation confuses everything. Is there a man out there who goes by the name of “Beautiful Smile Man” or is this a compliment – Beautiful smile, man. Either way, thank you to whoever                                                                 thinks I’m a man with a beautiful smile.

 

Here are a few fun things going on in the world of Tara in case you’ve missed the Facebook updates:

*My New Adult, stand-alone novel “Watch Over Me” is currently the Kindle Countdown Deal on Amazon. You can pick it up for $0.99 for 3 more days!
Check out Watch Over Me on Amazon

*The first book in my romantic suspense series is FREE for a limited time! You can  download A Beautiful Lie (Playing With Fire #1) at the places below for ZERO DOLLARS!  (Each book in the Playing With Fire series can be read as stand-alones. They are all complete stories with no cliffhangers)
Amazon
Kobo
iBooks
Reading order: A Beautiful Lie, Because of You, Worn Me Down, Closer to the Edge (coming May 28th)

*Shame on Me (Fool Me Once #2) will be out on May 6th!!  Don’t forget to pre-order your copy:
Amazon

*Tantor Audio is currently doing a giveaway on Goodreads for A Beautiful Lie. Head on over and enter for your chance to win one of 5 copies of the audio book!
A Beautiful Lie Audio Giveaway

 

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