You guys did it!!! 3,000 Facebook likes!!! For being so awesome, here is your teaser for Troubles and Treats 🙂
I shake myself out of my stupor of staring at Jackson’s naked chest and grab the hand he has held out for me. I had seen him move in a few weeks ago and we’ve shared a couple of neighborly waves whenever we’re outside at the same time, but I have never seen him up close.
“I’m Jenny. It’s nice to meet you. Thank you for doing something to shut her up. I was thinking about just going inside and locking her out until she calmed down,” I joke with a nervous laugh.
Shit, I don’t know this guy at all. What if he doesn’t get my joke and calls the police. Can I get arrested for saying I’m going to lock my three-year-old out of the house?
Luckily he laughs right along with me and gives me a heart-stopping smile. I’m totally not kidding. My heart stutters for a minute before picking back up.
I start to bend down to pick up some of the mess in the driveway when Jackson puts his hand on my arm to stop me.
“Hey, don’t worry about this. I’ll clean it up. Give me all of the bags and you go on ahead and get the kids inside.”
He smiles at me again and I kind of want to melt into a puddle of goo in the driveway with the pickle juice and tomato sauce.
When was the last time Drew smiled at me like that? Like he wanted to lick my face. And when was the last time he ever offered to help me with anything, aside from those weird dishes and laundry comments he made the other night?
I thank Jackson and leave him in the driveway while I usher the kids inside to put them both down for a nap.
Fifteen minutes later, I am still arguing in the living room with Veronica about taking a nap when there is a soft knock at the front door before it’s opened a crack.
“Jenny? Is it okay if I bring these bags in?” Jackson asks, peeking his head in the door.
“Oh, yes! Sorry, I forgot to come back out and get them,” I tell him as Veronica jumps down off of the couch and runs over to him.
“Are you a shit turd?” she asks him in an innocent voice.
“Oh my God, Veronica! You don’t say that!” I scold her, feeling my face get extremely red with embarrassment as the Greece God in front of me just stands there, still shirtless, laughing his ass off.
“I’m sorry,” I tell Jackson as I take the grocery bags from his hand.
“It’s fine. Sometimes I can be a shit turd so at least she was accurate,” he says with a smile. “Oh, I swept up the mess and put it in your garbage can in the garage and then hosed down the driveway. I hope that’s okay.”
I stand there with the bags in my arms just staring at him.
I know he said he would take care of the mess, but I just figured he would be a typical guy and shove it out of the way with his foot and then go home. I should ask him if he can teach Drew some lessons.
He looks away suddenly and pulls a t-shirt out of the back pocket of his jeans and slips it on over his head, apologizing to me as he does it like he was offending me or something. I want to scream at him and tell him it’s more offensive that he put the shirt back on, but then I realize I’m standing here holding a bag full of tampons, panty liners, douche, and vinegar, and the bag is see through and he just freaking carried it in for me.
“The vinegar is for french fries. My husband likes vinegar on his fries, and he likes it on cucumbers when I make cucumber salad, and I also put it in my homemade Italian dressing, and it totally doesn’t go with the other stuff in the bag because you know, it’s already scented flower fresh. I don’t like my ‘down there’ to smell like french fries or dressing, ha ha!”
Oh my God, why am I shitting out of my mouth?
Jackson just laughs and for once it feels like someone is laughing with me and not at me, and I should just get on a bus and go right to hell because I’m ogling someone that isn’t my husband.
“I’m sorry. I’m just really tired. I haven’t slept since my son was born.”
I CAN NOT WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh My Fricking God!!! I can’t wait. I laughed so hard I about peed my pants just reading this.
Awesome!!!! Cant wait and oh my Drew better get it together 😉
Love it! Cant wait till my birthday when it comes out!! Please, please give us another soon!!
Yay! I can’t wait for this. I love Jenny!
“I haven’t slept since my son was born.” <— that may be the best sentence I've ever read.
Love it Tara!!!! Can’t wait for this one to come out.
OMG love it!!!!
Can’t wait until I can download it!!!
This makes me want to read the 1St two again… Can’t wait…
Ah cannot wait for this book to be released… Hurry up November 30th 🙂
I cant wait to read more. Love your work
This is awesome, Tara. I still have to read your two other books, they are on my TBR list and everyone is raving about them!!! Good luck with everything!
YES!!!!!!!!!!!! I FREAKING LOVE JENNY!!!!!!!!!1 SERIOUSLY I DO……SOOOO FUNNY TARA!!
This just made my day! Can’t wait for the 30th!
funny but super nervous about what is going to happen to drew and jenny i always loved them together
Well, now I just want it even more!! Guess that’s the point of the teaser! LOL! Thanx!
YAY!!!! I’m sooo excited
OMG!!! TOO freaking funny! I can’t wait for this to come out!
Giggling like a freaking schoolgirl!
AWESOME!
Hahaha…..you are effin AWESOME!!!!
Ermagawd! I can’t wait to read and laugh and smile til my cheeks hurt again! I love you more than a hooker loves free std testing at the community clinic! Woot Woot! Amazeballs!
Love it can’t wait. I think I peed in my pants at the down there part.
LMAO! The shit Jenny says is hilarious. I CANNOT wait for this book.
LOL! Please do not stop writing humor,you are so awesome! Since I found you I have been some how coping with the drama that I call,”my life”! Please, there is so much more to write in you,menopause,old age,keep the series going for my sanity!
You’re so freaking amazing!! I cannot wait to read T&T!!!!! You ROCK!!!
Holy Crap, I fucking love you!
And of course I’m laughing my ass off already! Love it Tara!
Awesome! This is going to be just as hysterical as the first two! YOU ROCK!!
OMG, you just made my day Tara!!!. The last part was hilarious 🙂 Can’t wait for the book!
OMG THATS A RIOT! I can’t wait for this book!
I love it! I can’t wait to read it. I wish it could be released a week earlier so I can read it over Thanksgiving break. I’m not cooking for Thanksgiving this year, so I’ll have ALL the time in the world!!!
Can’t wait!!! I look forward to attempting to explain my smiles and LOL moments!!!
Oh how I’ve missed this series. Love this and can’t wait for the third book!
Can’t wait to read the rest. Sounds like another winner! And another smart mouth kid!
OMG that was brilliant!! can’t wait!
Thank you. I’m so looking forward to reading this. What are you working on next?
Awesome!!!!!! Can’t wait for the rest!!!!
HAHAHAHAHA! Dude you are made of awesome! This shit is brilliant!!!!!
Too F’in funny!!! Can not wait for another 17 days!
Can’t wait! So excited!
HOLY CRAP! This is going to be epically awesome. Cannot wait!
Oh my geez!!! I love it when is it coming out?
I hope my family doesn’t expect much from me on the weekend this comes out. Can’t wait. Both of your books have been the best ice read in along time!!
does it really have to be the last book? this is too funny! Drew’s in trouble!
Oh I just loved your series, the first book was the best, so amazingly funny never laughed so much, my kids thought I was crazy. Claire and Gavin are my absolute favourites and so was Drew. Gavin what a adorable terror