Sprechen Sie Deutsch? Er, Russian?


Just a little exciting news to share with you on this loveliest of hump days.

I’ve signed a foreign rights deal with Valentina, a publisher in  Brazil for Seduction and Snacks!  So brush up on your Portuguese folks and you’ll be able to walk into a bookstore over there and see how “vagina hands” translates.  (FYI, mãos da vagina, that’s how “vagina hands” translates according to Google Translator.  Do not be alarmed if you see me and I start shouting “MAOS DA VAGINA!!!”)

Also, Seduction and Snacks AND Futures and Frosting have both been acquired by Eksmo Publishing in Russia.  I’ve always wanted to go to Russia.  Mostly to drink my weight in Russian vodka.  Maybe I can convince them to send me a few bottles when they send me the translated versions…

You have no idea how excited I am to receive copies of these books once they are translated and have absolutely no clue what they say!

Last, but not least, audible.com has bought the rights to all three books in the Chocolate Lovers series!  As much as I’d love to have Betty White read my books, sadly, I do not get to chose who the voice actress is.  Do you know what this means, ladies??  Now your boyfriends, husbands, ball and chains can read/listen to my books without the fear that someone will see them reading a chick book.  Score!!  As soon as the books are live on audible.com, you’ll be the first to know!  Well, aside from me.  Hopefully I’m the first to know.

So that’s my news for now.  Make sure to check out the Events tab above to see if I’ll be invading a city near you for a book signing.  Or just stick your head out the window and keep your ears open for me screaming “MAOS DA VAGINA!” or “влагалища руками”.  That’s the Russian version, by the way.  And now that I look at it, I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what words look/sound like when I’m drunk screaming.

I hope you’ll be able to make it to one of these signings because I just ordered the BEST swag ever.  I’m not kidding.  You’re going to die.  I almost snorted to death making them online.

влагалища руками!!




  • Brandy Rypma says:

    Holy f’in awesome!!! I can’t wait to get the audio books just to listen to them over and over again!! They better get someone with a personality to read them.

  • Maria Ramirez Esquivel says:

    Congrats!! I haven’t read Beautiful Lie. Can’t wait to read it.

  • Petra (@crystalka89) says:

    Oh my, I can’t imagine listening to your book on Audible…. If I were in public and suddenly burst out laughing (which sure as hell happens a lot with these books), people would think I’m nuts… 🙂

    Congrats though, you’re awesome 🙂

  • Tess says:

    MAOS DA VAGINA!!! LMAO!! Huge congrats Tara!! 😀

  • Bobbie Harvey says:

    You know you’ve just started a whole new game of “whats the funniest Tara Sivec quote we can translate” Here’s my first entry

    “Oh doce Jesus. Doce mãe porra porra de fode “.

  • Ana's Attic says:

    We will have to all practice on the party bus next weekend! I want a Russian one too! And fuck yeah, that is one audio book am definitely getting, though it may be dangerous to drive while laughing and peeing.

  • Lisa Langrell says:

    You know, I wonder..do portugese have vibrators and other sexual treats? Can you imagine the translation that will have to occur? Perhaps a little instructional booklet in back..LOL Or what the hell, throw in a free vibrator with every purchase. It would be like singing along.

  • Bex Stutz says:

    I still vote for Chelsea Handler to read the books.

  • Rachel says:

    So I am Brazilian and a huge fan of yours!!! Just wanted to say it is soooooooooooooo weird for me to read books translated into Portuguese, like the other day I came across a copy of 50 shades and found it hilariously cheesy in Portuguese but it is a huge success over there. But your books I can imagine better in Portuguese, they will be as funny I am sure and most people do not know better anyway. So best of luck Tara and keep up the good work and please keep them coming!

    P.S: Sorry about all the mistakes as English is not my first language

    • tarasivec says:

      Thank you so much for the message Rachel! You’ll definitely have to let me know how insane my books sounds in Portuguese!

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