Sep23

D.R.A.W – Raising Awareness

7 Comments

I just got home from my signing tour of Detroit and Chicago this past weekend.  Even though I’m exhausted and have eleventy-billion things to do, I had a BLAST!  As you know, I like to do a list of “Things I learned in…” whenever I get home from an epic weekend.

But first, Love and Lists comes out in 8 days.  EIGHT DAYS!!!!

8 days

 

 

 

 

 

The pre-order link is up on Amazon so make sure to order it!  http://www.amazon.com/Love-and-Lists-Chocoholics-ebook/dp/B00EG8U5S4/ref=pd_sim_kstore_6

For some reason, Amazon has it listed as having 61 pages.  FALSE!  L&L will be a full length novel so I’m not sure why they have that listed.  Never fear, you’ll have plenty of Gavin 🙂  Also, it will be available on Barnes & Noble, Kobo and iTunes, and of course paperback.

 

Without further ado: Things I Learned in Detroit/Chicago:

1. If I ever think it would be a great idea to take my kids to a signing – punch me right in the face.  Hard.

2.  If you’re at one of my signings and you see a creepy hand come out from under the table, it’s probably just one of my kids reaching for your ankle.  Or a hand growing out of my vagina.  Either way, don’t be afraid.

3.  My kids WILL throw packs of Skittles at you.  And it will hurt.  But Jack Wilder will throw them back harder and I will point and laugh when my kids cry.

4.  My kids will photobomb every picture.  EVERY.  PICTURE.

J&Tbomb

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5.  If I ever think it would be a great idea to take my kids to a signing – punch me right in the face.  Hard.

6.  I will put a pair of size 4X thongs on over my jeans that say “Big Girls Do It Better” and it will be awesome.

big girls

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7. Dolphin rape is a real thing.

8. When someone mentions “dolphin rape” during a signing, I will YouTube every video I can find and show it to everyone.  Be afraid.

9. I will decide that everyone needs to be aware of dolphin rape and make a PSA video about it.  During a signing.  And it will be epic:  https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10202012977711240&l=7876261933818857933

10. After a Long Island Iced Tea and 2 beers, I will agree with Sarah Hansen that getting a tattoo is an epic idea at midnight.

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11. Having your beta readers with you when you get this tattoo, is a very wise decision.  Especially when the first stencil he put on my arm had the quote wrong.

12.  Getting a drunk tattoo was surprisingly a wise decision now that I’m sober.

photo (42)

 

 

 

 

 

 

13. When I find out my hotel room has a sitting room with a door to the bedroom, I will burst out of said doors singing “THE HILLS ARE ALIIIIIIIIVE, WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC!”

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14. When Jasinda Wilder sends you a text that you should come down to the bar and eat a “Cave of Cheese” with her, you should take her up on that offer.  Sitting alone in your hotel room eating Ruffles and watching the Emmy’s is exactly as depressing as it sounds.

7 Comments

  • Joanne Christenson says:

    Hilarious as usual….cannot wait to see your face again

  • Kristin Reh says:

    Your kids were cute, but we were strangers, it was 10am, and they were probably still not awake at that point, lol. They did not photo bomb my pic, see FB, I was the woman with the flamingo tattoo that you admired. BTW I would get a tattoo with you anytime and join Jasinda to partake in a “cave of chees”. Thanks for letting me & my hubby meet you guys at the Detroit signing. You & Jasinda ROCK!

  • IveGotLotsToSay says:

    Hilarious Tara! Hold on a sec the husband INSISTS on talking while I’m hot into typing..wtf man! OK back! I love the man, but for fuck’s sake, is it possible he can pee without my input or direction. Anyhoooo! This trip sounded great! You took your kids. Ahh,..Delusions of Grandeur. In our minds, its played out like the commercial to Disney-all balloons and smles. Then the reality of “im bored!” “mom, mom, mom, mom” WHAAAAT!!!! The photo bombing however, that rocks.lmao

  • Erica Pillera says:

    Should have known better than to read this at work. HILARIOUS!!!!

  • Jo Fergus says:

    I love you and want to be your friend. I was just telling my husband that I want to be friends with the Chocolate Lovers girls and he looked at me weird cos he has no idea what the feck I’m talking about. I say this because I think people are such bloody prudes. If I say any comment at work or amongst other women that sounds a bit like an innuendo I get told of or told TMI. People need to be more open minded and realise that there are lots of people in the world having sex and enjoying it. Anyway, like I said we need more people in the world like you and the Chocolate girls 🙂

  • Mickey@imabookshark says:

    Oh my goodness. I walked up to your table in Chicago just as the dolphin rape thing was going on. It was incredible. I learned a lot that day. ;o) Nice PSA! Glad it came together. Hahaha.

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