Archives

  Jul25

Book Boyfriend Battle Round 2!

2 Comments

BBBattle Logo

The votes have been tallied from the first round of voting in Tara’s Book Boyfriend Battle!!  Here are your choices for round 2!!!  Remember: you can vote for more than one man at a time in case you can’t choose just one, and you can vote once a day!

This round will narrow it down to the TOP 2 men so vote wisely!!  This round ends on Monday, August 4th.

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Tara’s Book Boyfriend Battle ROUND 2
  
pollcode.com free polls 
  Jul23

Angry Beaver

61 Comments

*WARNING: If you are sensitive to the use of swear words, or you just don’t like them – leave this blog post immediately. I plan on using every swear word in the English language in this post, as well as a few that are quite possibly made up.  Proceed with caution.

 

Let’s start today’s lesson off with a definition, shall we?

Brazilian Wax – Noun. From the Latin word “hurtslikeamotherfucker”.  A Brazilian wax means most or all of your pubic hair is removed, including the hair around the very sensitive skin of the inner labia and anus.

During a Brazilian wax, a licensed cosmetologist or esthetician applies a thin layer of warm wax with a stick in the direction of the hair growth, applies a strip of paper or cloth, then pulls the hair out by its roots. And in the genital area, especially inside the labia, the skin is extremely sensitive.

 

Okay, so the “warm wax” is probably the only part of this definition that sounds moderately enjoyable, but I’m a glutton for punishment so why the hell not? I mean, I have 11 tattoos, my nose pierced and I had 2 c-sections. If I can survive that, a Brazilian Wax should be a piece of cake, right?

vdtakU0Suuuuuuuuuuure.

 

 

 

 

 

It might come as a surprise to you that I’ve never been waxed. I wrote a waxing scene in one of the Chocolate Lovers books, but I researched that with an interview with my stylist. I’m thinking if I would have researched it with an actual waxing, that scene would have had a whole different outcome. Mostly, an entire chapter of just swearing.

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Let me just preface this by saying that I did not intend on getting a full Brazilian. My stylist convinced me to get a bikini wax since we’re going on vacation this weekend and I grudgingly said “Fine. Whatever. But you’re giving me a 30 minute reward-facial afterwards.”

So, I walk into the salon and as soon as she comes out to get me, I tell her I hate her. You know, just so we’re both clear on how much I’m NOT looking forward to this in case there’s any confusion.

I get undressed, wrap the towel around me and she tells me to sit at the end of the table with my legs hanging down. Well, at least I don’t have to put my feet in stirrups like at the gyno, so that’s one less mortifying part of the process.

She tells me there is a facial going on in the next room and that I have to be quiet. I just give her this look.
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She hands me a towel and says “Here, shove this in your mouth to muffle your screams.” I hate her less at this point because at least she knows me and she is well aware of the fact that I cannot and will not be quiet, especially during what shall be forever known as “The Day My Vagina Died”.

Me: “Okay, this is NOT what I signed up for!  I mean, it’s a bikini wax. One strip on the left, one strip on the right. Done. I’m pretty sure I can handle a little-JESUSMOTHERFUCKINGSUCKBALLSYOUASSHOLE!”

Yep. That would be right around the time she lathered the entire upper area with wax and RIPPED IT OFF without any warning. She then proceeds to tell me that I can totally handle a full Brazilian. She reminds me that I had 2 c-sections. I remind her that those came with Morphine and I don’t see a fucking I.V. anywhere in this room.  I will say that she did tell me I should stop at the bar and have a couple of shots before my appointment, but I thought she was kidding.

Clearly not.

Not wanting to interrupt the relaxing facial going on in the next room, I quickly shove the towel in my mouth as she puts more wax on me. The 2nd rip wasn’t as bad as the first. I knew it was coming so I was prepared. That doesn’t mean I didn’t scream like a mother fucker into the towel though. A few of my favorites:

“FUCKING MOTHER FUCK FUCKER!”
“SHITFUCKBALLFUCKYOURASS!”
“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?”
“I’M GOING TO FUCKING DONKEY KICK YOU IN THE GOD DAMN NECK!”

Luckily, because of the towel in my mouth, the woman next door in facial land most likely only heard “MFFFFFMEEERRRFFFFMMMMMRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFFEEEEMEEERRRFFFFFFF!”

And of course she’s telling me to “Just relax. It will hurt worse if you’re tense.” Yes, relaxing is soooooooo easy. I can barely relax when I get my eyebrows waxed. Let’s review: This is not the hair above my eyes. THIS IS THE HAIR ON MY VAGINA. My lady garden. My fun hatch. Republic of Labia. The Holy Grail.

Sure, I’ll get right on that whole relaxing thing.

And really, it’s not like you can fully relax. She can’t sneak up on you like a shot at the dr’s office. You feel the wax going on, you feel her smoothing the cloth strips down and you KNOW what’s coming next: YOU’RE VAGINA HAIR BEING RIPPED OUT BY THE ROOTS.  By. The. Roots. She was even nice enough to show me the strips afterward with a big smile on her face saying “Look at those roots!”

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After about the 5th time I screamed into the towel “FUCK YOUR FACE AND FUCK YOUR MOTHER’S FACE”, she reminded me that probably wasn’t the best choice of words to use when she was wrist-deep in my vagina with her face right in my nether region.  Whatever. She’s one of my good friends after doing my hair for 4 years. We have just crossed over that imaginary line in the sand where good friends do not stick there hands all over your vagina when you’re both sober. There is no going back.  If I want to scream “FUCK YOUR FACE”, I will scream “FUCK YOUR FACE”.  There is really nothing that could make this moment any more awkward, believe me.

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She also kept telling me “Your skin is really taking to this nicely. See? You should have done this a long time ago.” Obviously my skin is a mother fucking liar and should be killed. Why is my skin forsaking me?????

I’m going to tell you this. Never, EVER ask someone if getting a Brazilian hurts. It’s just like asking someone if getting a tattoo hurts. “No, having needles jammed into your skin for hours at a time is lovely. It feels just like being tickled by a feather.”

“No, getting a Brazilian doesn’t hurt. My clit was most likely ripped out right along with my pubic hair and it’s now stuck to a piece of cloth in the salon, waving good-bye to me fondly. Totally doesn’t hurt.”

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At the end of the 20 minute torture session, I really would have liked a giant bath of ice water to soak my bits in. They burned, they stung…my vagina was ANGRY.  I really pissed off my vagina. I felt like I should buy it a puppy or a pony, something to buy its love back so it would forgive me.

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I will say, I am quite happy with the results. I’m still not sure if I’ll do it again in 6-8 weeks. Maybe it’s like childbirth. “You forget all about the pain.” That’s why people are stupid enough to have more than one kid. I’m assuming this works the same with waxing.

When I told my friend Beth Ehemann about my day, she sent me this photo and said “I imagine this is what your vagina feels like right now.”

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Yep, that’s about right.

  Jul18

Book Boyfriend Battle!

12 Comments

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I thought it would be fun to do a little book boyfriend battle with all of MY book boyfriends!  You have quite a few to choose from so don’t worry, you’ll be able to pick multiple entries in this first round.

Here’s how it will work. The first round will include ALL of my book boyfriends. You will vote and the top 5 will move on to the next round. The 2nd round will narrow it down to 3 and the third round will be the top 2 in a BATTLE TO THE DEATH!  Or something like that.

You will need to think long and hard (that’s what she said) about who your favorite book boyfriend is because the winning man will get something special. He will get a brand new deleted scene, an interview, a book trailer custom made just for him and maybe some other things I think up along the way! You’ll even get to give me some suggestions for what you’d like to see in his deleted scene!

Without further ado, here are the men you get to choose from:

BBBattle

 

 Time to vote!  Round 1 will end on JULY 24.

Tara’s Book Boyfriend Battle ROUND 1
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

  Jul15

Tara Sivec’s New Release!

1 Comment

Shame on Him (Fool Me Once #3) is now live on Amazon!!

Shame on HimFor Lorelei Warner, being perfect isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be. She did what her straitlaced parents wanted: became a lawyer, married her college boyfriend. But since her husband ran off with another man and her career became a nonstop bore-fest, Lorelei has turned to her best friends and Fool Me Once Investigations to find fulfillment and adventure.

When a routine subpoena-delivery turns up a dead body, Lorelei knows that solving the murder is exactly what she needs to boost her confidence…until private investigator Dallas Osborne walks in and takes over the case. Dallas has always rubbed Lorelei the wrong way. It’s aggravating enough that he’s a pompous ass, but he’s also entirely too good-looking.

If she wants to catch the killer, Lorelei will need to loosen up and defy her parents—not to mention the law. And she’ll need to partner with Dallas, working closer (much closer) to the sexy investigator than she ever expected.

 

Purchase Kindle Copy:

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Purchase Paperback:

Purchase from Amazon UK

Purchase from Amazon Australia

Purchase from Amazon Canada

MeerkatSOH

Teaser 1

 

  Jul3

Q&A!

9 Comments

I opened up Facebook to a Q&A, offering up swag bags to the individuals whose questions I picked to answer. 410 questions were asked!!!  FOUR HUNDRED AND TEN! You guys are crazy and I love you!!  So, without further ado, here are the answers to my favorite questions. If I picked one of your questions, send an email with your mailing address to: tarasivecpromos@gmail.com

 

1. Daisy BrickHow did PORN come about? Is it a game you played and made it a part of your book, or since it was a part of your book do you now play it?

Ahhhhh, P.O.R.N.  For those of you not familiar with this acronym, it comes from my very first book – Seduction and Snacks. It stands for Pong Organizational Rules and Notices. This is actually a game we used to play at my old job at a brokerage company in cubicle land. I don’t even know how there came to be ping pong balls in the office, but they magically appeared and we HAD to do something with them. It started off with us writing obscene words in Sharpie on the balls and lobbing them over the top of the 6 foot tall cubicle walls to each other. Then it moved on to “If you can toss the ball blindly over the top and it lands in my coffee cup, I’ll buy you lunch.” Within a few weeks it became war. We would sneak around the corner when someone was on the phone and pelt them in the face with it. Extra points if you could bank it off of their overhead cabinet and THEN hit them in the face. There were rules. We had a point system. It was very intricate.

2.  JJ Jackson:  What are the top 5 played songs on your ipod right now? Do you listen to music while you write or do you prefer silence?

I normally don’t listen to music when I’m writing unless there is a specific song that just MAKES the chapter. Music is very inspirational to me and if I have it on while I’m writing, I won’t be able to concentrate on what I’m doing and will instead start thinking up other ideas!  There is only one song I listen on repeat and it’s only for sex scenes. It’s called Bloodstream by Stateless.

Here are the top 5 played songs on my iPod right now:
Stay – Thirty Seconds to Mars
Teenage Dirtbag – Wheatus
Running Up That Hill – Placebo
Lose Yourself – Eminem
The Great Escape – Pink

3. Tori Campbell: Which of your tats is your favorite? 

Well, I have 11 tattoos so far (already planning my next one) and they each have very special meanings for me. I’d have to say that this one is my favorite. I got it right after my mom died and that is her actual signature at the bottom of the cross 🙂
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4. Sandy Swanger Bartles:  When you FIRST began writing, did you keep it a secret or let all your friends and relatives know? 

My best friend was the ONLY one who knew! I didn’t even tell my husband. Poor guy. He found out I knew how to write about a month after Seduction and Snacks was published LOL! I really never thought it would turn into anything so I figured there was no sense in telling him about it. I went the traditional route at first and tried submitting it to publishing agents and received 25 rejection letters. Soon after, I found out about self-publishing and thought I’d give it a shot. When it started gaining popularity, I figured it was time to break it to the hubs!

5. Kristin Koziol Reh I’ve met your kiddos at a book signing, so my question is if Tara Sivec is a pen name? So many authors use them to protect their true identities & families and since you had them in pics them at the wedding this past weekend I assume you are just plain awesome IRL as well as an author and everyone embraces it.

Nope, not a pen name! Since I really thought only a small handful of people would ever read my first book, it never even occurred to me to make up a name! I don’t regret it at all. I’m too scatterbrained as it is. If I had to answer to two different names and try to remember who knew which name and who didn’t, it would be total anarchy.

6. Michelle SantosIf you could jump in to any of your books which one would it be and why?

ABL USA Amazon GR Smash (1)A Beautiful Lie (Playing With Fire, #1)

The main character – Parker, is who I want to be when I grow up! The TV show Alias is still one of my all time favorites. I always imagined myself as a bad ass CIA agent or working for the FBI. I love the idea of a kick ass woman who can hold her own with a group of strong men and still be feminine and hot. Also, if you want to pick up this book, it’s still free at Amazon, Kobo and iBooks 🙂

 

 

 

 

7. Tammy Huckabee: Which of these wonderful authors that are out there are your favorite? Which will you go to when you have nothing else to do?  

I have SO many favorites! If you’re on Pinterest, you can check out my Favorite Reads of 2014 board. Some of my absolute favorite authors are in there. Right now, my go-to author is Tessa Bailey.

8. Kathy Sizemore: Since Gavin is semi based on your son, does your daughter “get” a story soon?

First of all, let me clear something up. Gavin isn’t semi based on my son. HE IS MY SON! 100%. I’ve tried selling him but so far, no takers. If you’ve read Passion and Ponies, then you’ve met Molly, who is loosely based off of my daughter. She has a very dry sense of humor and she’s like a fucking ninja with the way she sneaks up on people. Molly a.k.a. my daughter, will be getting her own book soon!

Assface:
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Captain Narcolepsy:
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9. Roselle Torres: How did you meet Mr. Handsome hubby of yours?

We met on the school bus when we were 12. I went to a private Catholic school and he went to public school. Since we lived a mile from each other, I was forced to start riding his bus. He used to make fun of my Catholic uniform EVERY DAMN DAY. I’m pretty sure if my ass could still fit in that skirt he would be eating those words today, 25 years later.

10. Kate McnaughtonTo be blatantly honest with you, I hadn’t heard of you until a friend posted a comment here & it came up on my news feed. However, I love a good read & I’m always happy to add an author to my ‘must read their stuff!’ list. So, my question is…….why should I read your stuff & where do I start?……sorry, that’s actually two questions!

You should read my stuff because I’m incredibly awesome. And humble. Did I mention awesome? I think I did. If not, I’m awesome. I actually write in a bunch of different genres so it all depends what you like to read. I’ve got romantic comedy, romantic suspense, romantic erotica, romantic mystery/comedy, New Adult drama/romance…If you go to the top of this page under “Books”, you can find them all along with their summaries 🙂
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