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  May30

Welcome to Hell…

29 Comments

It’s that time of year again. The time when teachers are jumping up and down with excitement and parents are beginning to rock back and forth in the corner sucking their thumbs. You know what I’m talking about – summer break.

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The beginning of the year is always fun and exciting. New clothes, new school supplies; everything clean and tidy. Then somewhere around February it all goes to shit and you stop caring. In the beginning of the year, my daughter wore earrings and necklaces and hair bows that matched her outfit. Now, as long as she’s wearing pants I’m fine. Every day when my husband leaves to take them to school, I look at them and think “You look like homeless street urchins.” And yet, I let them go because I DON’T CARE.

Beginning of the year:
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End of the year:

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Homework? Forget it. If they haven’t learned what they need to by now, they’re screwed. First and fourth grade math was hard enough at the beginning of the year.

First couple of months
Me: All electronics off, everyone bring your homework to the kitchen table and we’ll do it together.
Daughter: I don’t understand this, it’s too hard.
Me: Well, let’s figure it out together and go over what you learned in class today.

Now
Me: Do your homework.
Daughter: I don’t understand this, it’s too hard.
Me: Google it.

Beginning of the year – showers at least every other night that always included whining and crying and at least an hour of arguing about who has to go first and me always saying “Do you want to be the smelly kid in class????”

End of the year – “Fuck it, get in the pool.”
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Every Sunday night, I have to sign my name to a piece of paper that says I reviewed all of the graded tests and homework that came home over the weekend. As you can see, somewhere around February I stopped caring if my signature was legible, mostly because I forgot to sign the damn thing and I did it Monday morning while I was driving them to school. Signing your name against the steering wheel is as hard as it sounds.

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They both have spelling tests every Friday. At the beginning of the year, I’d give them written tests every night so they could practice and put them on this awesome website called Spelling City that lets them play word games with their spelling words.

Now
Me: Do you have spelling words?
Them: Yes
Me: Do you know how to spell them?
Them: Yes
Me: Super. Go play.

At least summer break means no more feeling like an idiot because I can’t figure out 1st grade math homework, no more arguments about who is taking them to school, no more last minute trips to Walmart at 10pm because someone forgot to tell mom they have a book report due tomorrow on dragonflies and they need to build a $&@^@% dragonfly habitat and then when we get home I end up building the #^@%$ thing alone because SOMEONE fell asleep while I was using spray glue and my fingers were stuck together and I was making up all sorts of new curse words (shitballsack mother sucking dick piece of ass) because somehow a Fruit Loop became glued to the habitat and I’m pretty sure dragonflies don’t eat Fruit Loops.

I got an A on the habitat, in case you were wondering.

I think what I really hate about summer break is that it means my kids have gotten one year older. It’s depressing. Just yesterday they were tiny little babies who couldn’t talk back and never told me I suck because I wouldn’t let them use the sprinkler as soon as it got above 40 degrees.  So, for all of you parents dreading the start of summer break – when they start arguing, complaining they’re bored on the 2nd day and make you want to take up heavy drinking at 7am, just remember that time when they were teeny tiny and slept in your arms.

Then, start drinking at 7am.

 

 

  May28

Signed Paperback Giveaway!

11 Comments

I’m sure by now you’ve heard the news – I wrote a smoking HOT erotic romance!  Well, according to the early reviews it’s smoking hot 🙂

“BURNED is, without a doubt, Tara’s best work to date. It’s got a little of the sassy humor that is so uniquely hers, but it’s also the hottest, sexiest, and most emotionally impactful story she’s written.” – Jasinda Wilder, USA Today & NY Times Best Selling Author

 …Burned has amped up Tara’s sexual mind and we get to experience every word. Tara funny is priceless, but her hot and sexy is off the charts! Tara can tackle any subject and make it her bitch! Nuff said. So get ready to one click, battery up, and set the shower too cold because Burned may cause damage…proceed with caution.”The Book Avenue Review

“…Tara Sivec knocked it out of the park with this one. No one should ever doubt this author’s range. EVER. This book sucked me in from page one with its honesty and emotions. Burned is an erotic romance in every sense of the phrase – the emotions run deep, the story is layered and compelling, the suspense is edge of your seat and the sex is so smoking hot I’m at a loss for words.” Scandalicious Book Reviews

“…It’s romantic, it’s touching and it even manages to have touches of humor. It kept me on the edge of my seat at times. But most of the time it just kept me on the edge of an orgasm.” All Romance Reviews

 

Burned has its very own Facebook page now!  Make sure you stop by and give it a “like”. All of the purchase links will be posted here on June 10th: Burned FB Page

Enter to win a signed paperback of Burned:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

Teaser 10

 

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  May23

Who Wants to Get Burned?!

3 Comments

PrintIn case you missed it, I’ve written my first erotic romance!  This book is definitely outside the box for me and I’m so excited for you guys to read it!

BURNED – COMING EVERYWHERE JUNE 10TH!

Summary:

Seventeen years old when he broke my heart.
Seventeen days later when another picked up the pieces.
Seventeen years together.
Seventeen thousand problems.
Seventeen days of reliving my past and finding a new future.
Seventeen minutes until it all went up in flames.
Seventeen breaths until I took my last.
This is my story…and it’s going to burn.
Add it to Goodreads

Join the Facebook Party

Book Trailer #1:

 

Book Trailer #2 ***Includes explicit content AND music***

 

 

Teaser3

  May5

This Week’s Episode of “You Googled What??”

1 Comment

In case you missed my post a few weeks ago, I shared with you some of the popular Google searches that bring people to this website. The majority of them are pretty normal (Tara Sivec, Tara Sivec books, author Tara Sivec, etc. etc.), but then there are others than just defy the laws of Google. In case you missed the previous post, here it is: You Googled What, Part 1

And now I bring you, Part 2:

Screen Shot 2014-05-05 at 5.58.18 PMAs does every conversation I have.

 

Screen Shot 2014-05-05 at 5.58.08 PM Really? You just want this so you can masturbate, right? Like I’d really make it that easy for you. (Pages 25, 47, 116 and 136)

 

Screen Shot 2014-05-05 at 5.58.58 PMI’m pretty sure you can’t buy the “special” chocolate we all know you’re referring to online. Unless you have a “special” medical card.

 

Screen Shot 2014-05-05 at 5.57.35 PMDude, get out of your mother’s basement. And for God’s sake, spell mom right if you’re going to get her name tattooed on your ass.

 

So, remember Amber Dente from the first You Googled What post?  I’m pretty sure I ruined her life. Or her husband’s life.
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I hope it wasn’t something I said. But now at least this one makes more sense:

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Screen Shot 2014-05-05 at 5.57.44 PMEvery time you try to read an illegal copy of an author’s work, God kills a unicorn. Also, I have your IP address now, dick bag.

 

Screen Shot 2014-05-05 at 5.59.04 PMDear Lindsey’s husband: I’d like you to meet Amber’s husband. I apologize in advance if you find Lindsey Tummins sex on the internet and then she leaves you. Might it help if I send you some “special” chocolate?

 

Screen Shot 2014-05-05 at 5.59.22 PM Again with the boole woot sex???? Someone please add this to Urban Dictionary so I can stop wondering what it is. Thank you.

 

Screen Shot 2014-05-05 at 6.00.14 PMWere you looking for girls who ARE diddling or girls you CAN diddle? A complete sentence in this instance would really help with the confusion.

 

Now that I have you in my evil clutches, did you know that Shame on Me (Fool Me Once #2) releases at MIDNIGHT TONIGHT?!!!!  I hope you’ve all pre-ordered your Kindle copies!  Just a reminder, this series is published by Montlake Romance (a division of Amazon Publishing) therefore, it is only available in paperback or via Kindle. You can download the FREE Kindle reading app to any device here: Kindle Apps

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Amazon US

Amazon UK

Amazon Canada

Amazon Australia

 

 

 

 

 

Also, I’m having a Facebook Release Day party tomorrow night. Don’t forget to join!  There will be fun, games and prizes!  Shame on Me Party

Release Day Party