I just got home from my signing tour of Detroit and Chicago this past weekend. Even though I’m exhausted and have eleventy-billion things to do, I had a BLAST! As you know, I like to do a list of “Things I learned in…” whenever I get home from an epic weekend.
But first, Love and Lists comes out in 8 days. EIGHT DAYS!!!!
The pre-order link is up on Amazon so make sure to order it! http://www.amazon.com/Love-and-Lists-Chocoholics-ebook/dp/B00EG8U5S4/ref=pd_sim_kstore_6
For some reason, Amazon has it listed as having 61 pages. FALSE! L&L will be a full length novel so I’m not sure why they have that listed. Never fear, you’ll have plenty of Gavin 🙂 Also, it will be available on Barnes & Noble, Kobo and iTunes, and of course paperback.
Without further ado: Things I Learned in Detroit/Chicago:
1. If I ever think it would be a great idea to take my kids to a signing – punch me right in the face. Hard.
2. If you’re at one of my signings and you see a creepy hand come out from under the table, it’s probably just one of my kids reaching for your ankle. Or a hand growing out of my vagina. Either way, don’t be afraid.
3. My kids WILL throw packs of Skittles at you. And it will hurt. But Jack Wilder will throw them back harder and I will point and laugh when my kids cry.
4. My kids will photobomb every picture. EVERY. PICTURE.
5. If I ever think it would be a great idea to take my kids to a signing – punch me right in the face. Hard.
6. I will put a pair of size 4X thongs on over my jeans that say “Big Girls Do It Better” and it will be awesome.
7. Dolphin rape is a real thing.
8. When someone mentions “dolphin rape” during a signing, I will YouTube every video I can find and show it to everyone. Be afraid.
9. I will decide that everyone needs to be aware of dolphin rape and make a PSA video about it. During a signing. And it will be epic: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10202012977711240&l=7876261933818857933
10. After a Long Island Iced Tea and 2 beers, I will agree with Sarah Hansen that getting a tattoo is an epic idea at midnight.
11. Having your beta readers with you when you get this tattoo, is a very wise decision. Especially when the first stencil he put on my arm had the quote wrong.
12. Getting a drunk tattoo was surprisingly a wise decision now that I’m sober.
13. When I find out my hotel room has a sitting room with a door to the bedroom, I will burst out of said doors singing “THE HILLS ARE ALIIIIIIIIVE, WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC!”
14. When Jasinda Wilder sends you a text that you should come down to the bar and eat a “Cave of Cheese” with her, you should take her up on that offer. Sitting alone in your hotel room eating Ruffles and watching the Emmy’s is exactly as depressing as it sounds.